Donald Trump vs. Elon Musk

I have this fear that the world will adopt self-driving cars as the new normal. I've heard people that are much smarter than me say that self-driving cars will be ubiquitous within the next 30 years or so. My fear is not with self-driving cars themselves - I think that's amazing and great. My fear is that self-driving cars will become the new form of terrorist attack. That anybody with the will and the know-how will be able to hack into entire databases and cause millions of cars to wreck all at once.

Waves of mass-murder via car-hacking will begin to take place constantly. We've all heard of car-jackings, but car-hackings are a whole different animal. On that note though, I suppose in a world where car-hackings don't become the new normal, car-jackings themselves will stop because there will be a self-destruct option in all cars. Probably not self-destruct, but at least a "disable and call police" option that is built into your phone. Or actually probably wired into your fucking brain. But if they did have a self-destruct option, that would make car-hacking killings even that much easier. 

Anyways. Waves of mass-murder via car-hacking. Terrorist groups will easily be able to gain political power as they discover new and creative ways to take control of entire fleets of vehicles at will. The citizenry will be scared to drive. Scared to even leave their homes. We will retreat to underground bunkers. The only place safe from car-hacking killings. 

Donald Trump is often (more like always...) painted as the villain of 2018 America. While Elon Musk, in different context, is literally referred to as "the real-life Tony Stark" (aka a super-fucking-hero). But what if it's actually the other way around?

I already have my own conspiracy theories about how Trump is actually the goodest of the good guys who is willing to stick his neck out and be portrayed as the antagonist of the story in order to get shit done. How noble! Tell me, would you be willing to go down in history as the most hated president if it meant saving the world? Probably not. Pussy. 

ANYWAYS. Throw in a new element to that story. Trump is the hero who is mistaken as the villain. Musk is the villain disguised as the hero. Not really all that far-fetched, is it? Musk created basically his own form of digital currency. He created his own energy company. His own rocket company. And his own fucking SELF-DRIVING CAR COMPANY. If this were a comic book, he'd clearly be the super-villain character. And who's the hero? Always the last person you'd expect!

I'd like to see this as a superhero movie. Alec Baldwin can go ahead and play the part of Trump. Tom Cruise will play Musk. At the end of the movie when Trump saves the day from Evil Elon, he will plant an American flag directly in the chest of that shithole immigrant's chest and scream "YOU'RE FIRED!!!"


Proud to be an American begins to play as the credits roll. 

The sequel features the evil Dr. Winfrey and her maniacal sidekick Hillary.

jake chrismanComment