The Sure-To-Be Thriving Sky-Diving Community

Sky-diving... what a stupid sport. Is it a sport? What would you call it? A hobby?

"Hey, what are some of your hobbies?"

"Reading, hiking, cooking, oh yeah... sky diving."

"Oh, really? You love sky-diving huh? How often do you do it?"

"Oh, I did it once. Twelve years ago."

I'm sure there are actually people who go sky-diving on a consistent basis. Hell, as many people as there are on this planet, the possibilities are kind of endless. I'd be willing to bet there is a small niche group of like 1,000 thrice-a-week sky-divers. (For the uninitiated, that's people who sky-dive at least three times per week). Military people don't count. I'm talking purely recreational sky-divers. They must have little clubs. Recreational sky-diver communities. Just, different places all over the world. Tiny little sky-diver communities. (Not to be confused with The Tiny Little Sky-Diver Community - the infamous midget sky-diver gang in New Hampshire). 

I just imagine some small town in Ohio, some suburb of Cleveland, there's a little group of like 13 sky-diver families. They all live on a little cult-like compound. They all sky-dive together. They all home-school their kids so they can teach them the wonders of sky-diving and keep their young, impressionable minds from being tainted by lesser activities such as football or math. 

There is probably even a national sky-diving home-school sports program. The different little communities all over the country of home-school sky-diver kids have little sky-diving tournaments. I wonder if they all have this one particular college that they go to because it's the only one that recognizes sky-diving as a sport and has a sky-diving program. John McParachute founded the school in 1963 to ensure that all the sky-diving cults across the land had a place to send their young learners. 

The college offers sky-diving scholarships, and all the sky-diver home-school families are in competition because of the 1,000 sky-diving families, only 150 students will be awarded with the prestigious Home-School Sky-Diving Championship Scholarship Award.

70% of the students at this school are from sky-diving families. An additional 20% are first-generation sky-divers. The remaining 10% are only at this school because it was the only one they could get into and are just plain confused about why sky-diving is the official sport of their college and are ashamed to go home for winter break wearing a sweater with a dorky paratrooper mascot on the front. 

jake chrismanComment